Douglas: Welcome to the Unleash Your Potential Blog; what question can I answer today?
JourneyJewel: How can I develop a more optimistic outlook on life?
Douglas: I appreciate you taking the time to reach out and share your question. Before answering your question, I want you to consider the following scenario.
You've decided to move into a new house, a charming place in a quiet neighborhood with plenty of space, a beautiful garden, and friendly neighbors. It's the perfect spot to start the next chapter of your life, with room to grow and a peaceful atmosphere. The house has features you've always dreamed of, like a cozy fireplace and a spacious kitchen for family gatherings. However, the move means leaving behind the place where you've created countless memories and the community you've known for years. The new house, while beautiful, requires some repairs and updates, which will demand time, effort, and money. The process of packing, moving, and settling in is also stressful, filled with the inevitable challenges of adjusting to a new environment. This decision to move offers a fresh start and new possibilities, but it also comes with the bittersweet reality of leaving behind the familiar and facing the unknown.
The elements in our story principally develop the outlook on life that we choose to focus on. Consider the scenario from above. It has both potentially positive and negative moments in it. Let's take a moment to consider both:
Look at the Positives.
Charming New House: The new home is attractive and in a quiet neighborhood, offering a serene and peaceful living environment.
Friendly Neighbors: The neighborhood is welcoming, with friendly neighbors, creating a sense of community.
Dream Features: The house includes features you've always wanted, such as a cozy fireplace and a spacious kitchen, perfect for family gatherings and entertaining.
Fresh Start: Moving offers the opportunity to begin anew and create new memories and experiences.
New Possibilities: The decision to move opens up new opportunities and possibilities for personal and family growth.
Acknowledge the possible Negatives.
Leaving Behind Memories: Moving means saying goodbye to the place where you've created countless memories and have deep emotional connections.
Separation from Community: The move involves leaving behind a familiar community and the relationships built over the years.
House Repairs and Updates Needed: The new house, while beautiful, requires repairs and updates, which will demand significant time, effort, and financial investment.
Stressful Moving Process: The packing, moving, and settling in is inherently stressful, with logistical challenges and emotional strain.
Bittersweet Reality: The excitement of a fresh start is tempered by the bittersweet feelings of leaving the familiar and facing the uncertainty of the unknown.
All of the elements I presented above are possible simultaneously, but it all depends on which side of the equation you decide to focus on. A positive outlook will acknowledge the potential negatives but focus on the positives. A negative outlook will focus on the negatives at the expense of considering the positives or by seeing the positives and immediately discounting them in favor of the negatives. Ultimately, however, you have to choose what you focus on.
You always have the choice. However, over time, the choices we make can become a habit. If we choose to focus on the positive after acknowledging the negative in each scenario life presents, then we develop a habit of choosing positivity. If, however, we regularly choose to focus on the negative, eventually, that will become a habit too. We are what we do consistently.
If you think you have a negative outlook on life (which, based on the question, I can infer is the case), start by looking at recent scenarios you have faced. Try to analyze them as an unbiased observer. Write down as much as you can about the scenario. Then, with as objective a perspective as you can (or perhaps ask someone not connected to do this for you), write down what could have been optimistic about the situation and what could have been negative. Then, look at what you decided to focus on in the situation. Your choice will tell you how you did on the positive-negative spectrum.
For the next few weeks, consider the positives and negatives when you come up against a scenario, regardless of how you feel. List positives on one piece of paper and negatives on another. Remember that each scenario always has both, so if, as you are thinking about it, you can't find one or the other, then you likely are not viewing the situation objectively. Once you list the positives and negatives, acknowledge the negatives and then throw them away. Then, re-read the positives. If you start to think about the negatives, say to yourself, "Yes, that is true, but I am choosing to focus on [insert one of the positives from your list]."
Having a positive outlook is a mindset change. If you are prone to negative-focused thinking (as many of us are), changing your outlook will be frustrating. Set a goal to try this process for a week and stick to it. At the end of the week, try something else if you don't see any improvement.
I hope my answer sheds some light on your question. If you want to dig into this concept further, I encourage you to reach out and set up a conversation. In the meantime, check back tomorrow for the next question in the Unleash Your Potential Series!
Be Well!
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