Douglas: Welcome to the Unleash Your Potential Blog, what question can I answer for you today?
DreamDirective: What strategies can help me stay motivated during tough times?
Douglas: I love the way you phrased this question! So often, I hear people ask, how do they eliminate the tough times, or how do I stay happy all the time? I think that these questions miss the mark. It's not about eliminating the sad times or pretending that times aren’t going to get difficult on occasion. As your question alludes to, we gain strength by working through those tough times and developing strategies to persevere when life doesn’t quite go our way. In my opinion, which is certainly echoed in a lot of what I read and listen to, we have far more growth opportunities when we face those challenges and overcome them. Bravo for having your head in the right mind space about this question!
Motivation is really important. It is perhaps the greatest support we have during challenging times. There are two types of motivation, extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside of us. When we get praise from other people, that is extrinsic motivation. The challenge with extrinsic motivation is that 1.) it’s usually short-lived, and 2.) we are dependent on other people (whom we cannot control) to receive it. Even though it is a great help in the short term, it is by no means a solution. Intrinsic motivation, however, is the most effective kind. It comes from within. Intrinsic motivation is powered by how we feel about a task or experience. It comes to us as a desire to improve ourselves, or a strong feeling of alignment with a cause. Opposite from extrinsic motivation, 1.) it can be long lasting, and 2.) we can control it.
The best strategy to stay motivated is to find intrinsic motivation for the things you need to do in tough times. Identify the things that truly matter to you, work on tasks that you are motivated for, and take little steps forward.
Not too long ago my wife was diagnosed with cancer and my mother died in the same few months. It was arguably pretty tough times. Sure, I could have let those challenges completely derail me. However, I was intrinsically motivated to support my wife and children as we navigated her health and I needed to make sure my autistic older brother was cared for. In the face of all the challenges I was experiencing and wanting nothing more than to curl up on my bed and step away from the world, those beacons helped me to take steps forward every day. Each time I trudged forward it was because I needed to, I was driven to take care of my family. Eventually, the tough times passed (my wife’s health improved and things stabilized with my brother's care ) and I was able to return to other projects.
The point is to find beacons when you are in the tough times. Sailors who encounter difficult weather will look for a beacon or a star to fix their navigation on despite the raging seas around them. You need to do the same. What are the things in your life that motivate you to keep moving forward? Maybe it is the people around you. Perhaps it is need to always do your best. When I am struggling with classwork or challenged by difficult situations at work, I am motivated by my desire to always do my best. In all these cases, it is our intrinsic motivation that is going to carry us through the current challenge to the next success.
It is hard to find those beacons when the times are tough. Our lexicon is filled with phrases of support and there are tons of motivational posters of cats hanging from branches with pithy sayings, but when you are in the thick of it, it can be hard to see the light. If you are in that tough time right now, you can do this. Talk to trusted friends and look within for moments of intrinsic motivation you can hold on to. It will get better.
If you are not in tough times right now, this is the perfect time to do some storm preparation, because another is coming. Take stock of your resources. What are the intrinsic motivators you are going to hold on to when the storm does land? It may be wise to keep a written journal of those things that will help you. It is much easier to do self-work when you are not in the middle of a blustering storm.
I hope my answer sheds some light on your question. If you want to dig into this concept further, I encourage you to reach out and set up a conversation. In the meantime, check back tomorrow for the next question in the Unleash Your Potential Series!
Be Well!
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