I grew up going to church. While I am sure we didn’t go every Sunday, as I think back over the years, I don’t remember not going. Mom was on Altar Guild and taught Sunday school. Many of my memories of my childhood are connected to experiences at church. Most of the adults I remember from my youth are adults I interacted with at church. I can recall minor details about teachers I had in elementary and middle school, but my most vivid memories are of the people I learned from at Grace Church. My strongest and most vivid memories center around one person, Phyllis Spisak, the Organist/Choir Director.
I enjoyed almost everything about the church, but nothing enamored me quite as much as hearing the music every Sunday (except maybe the pageantry of the processional). I decided very early that, more than anything, I wanted to be a part of the music-making every Sunday and not just sing in the congregation!
I started taking piano lessons when I was six years old. So, by the time I was eight, I was already beginning to understand the basics of reading music. The junior choir was for 3rd-12th grade students. I was in 2nd grade when I decided I needed to be in choir. One Sunday, I decided I would ask if I could join the choir. I waited around in the Sanctuary after the service (mom was busy doing altar guild cleanup) for our organist to come down the stairs from the choir loft (you weren’t allowed into the loft if you weren’t in the choir, at least that was my 8-year-old understanding anyway). Then she came down the stairs, Mrs. Spisak. It was a concise conversation.
Me: “Mrs. Spisak, can I join the junior choir?”
Mrs. Spisak: “What grade are you in?”
Me: “Second.”
Mrs. Spisak: “ I am sorry, you must be in third grade.”
I had a year to wait until I could join the choir. Or so you would think. The very next week, Phyllis and I had the same conversation. In fact, we had it several times over the next few weeks. Phyllis finally changed her mind several weeks later (but not the year I was initially told). I don’t know if it was to stop this insistent 8-year-old from accosting her every Sunday or as a reward for my persistence, but in either case, I started singing in the choir.
That was 1983. Forty years later, I am still singing in the choir. Music has been a significant part of every chapter of my life. My time in junior choir with Phyllis fundamentally shaped who I am as a musician, educator, and human being. In addition, and maybe she meant to teach me this too, I learned about persistence. Phyllis could have said yes the first time I asked, but she didn’t. She made me keep coming back, and maybe that was to see if I really wanted to be in the choir. Maybe she said no all those times to allow me to show her how important it was to me to be in the choir. I have carried that persistence throughout several facets of my life. I know that anything worth having may take multiple “Not yets” and trying again before you can achieve the goal.
Who are the Phyllis Spisak’s in your life? The people who tell you “Not yet” encourage you to strive to prove how much you want to achieve your goal. Remember that each “Not yet” is not an excuse to give up, but to dig in and strive harder to turn that not yet into a yes!
Be well!
Comments